I have recently become tired of the word "balance" in discussions of parenting and academics for many reasons that I'll go into a little at a time rather than all here at once. It's a loaded word, but even as weighty as it can be, I don't think it is always an effective analogy for what we are trying to achieve.
It occurred to me today that part of what bothers me is that often conversations about academics and parenting revolve around a metaphor of a juggling act--a time management issue--and that elusive balance--which often seems to mean a sense of divided responsibility and the fear of giving too much on one side and short changing the other (we're just full of mixed metaphors, aren't we). While these are real concerns and worth discussion, what is more important to me is how academic life--the training, the information, the research techniques, the critical thinking skills, even the simultaneous identities of teacher and student--informs the way I parent. I think about these things all the time, and I'd like to have more conversations about them--Geeky Mom and Dr. Dad's The Articulate Child blog have great examples of this.
I think parents are compartmentalized by other people more than they actually think of themselves as compartmentalized. It's like when I'm at home with RB, I'm Mommy, which is somehow separate from my Student/Teacher/Scholar self. Of course I am performing certain roles in certain contexts, but my mothering is very closely tied with my academic experience. This gives me more to think about in my consideration of performing identities (BTW, I'm designing a composition class themed "Identity and Community" so there's lots more on that to come). This is also related to a general prejudice against working parents, especially mothers--as if by choosing to have a child you are also saying that career is somehow less important to you or you are less serious than others. We need more understanding of how parenting and academics are integrated. I have a lot more thinking to do on this.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
That does make sense, Anastasia, and it's one of the reasons I love reading your blog.
Ugh. I just had a conversation with an older librarian about the issues of "balancing" family. Specifically, I mentioned that Mr. Geeky was on a committee examining the issues related to parenting and working. I said that most people thought one simple step would be to coordinate the campus schedule with the public school schedule as much as possible, i.e. letting us have Labor Day off. He said, it will never happen. And I thought, then you're going to have fewer parents working here and that would suck.
I hate the compartmentalization. I brought the kids to campus for a bit over spring break and I overheard someone say, "What is this? Bring your kid to work day?" And I thought, "No, it's inflexible work schedule and no child care day."
Post a Comment