blog is done

I think I'm finished with this blog. Not blogging in general, but this one specifically. I'm not going to delete it because I really do like it and want it to stay around for awhile. It just doesn't fit anymore. I'll let you know if I start a new one. Meanwhile, if you've stuck around this long, I invite you to my family blog--sorry! You missed it!--Save it because I'll take it down in a few days. It's not very confessional and is warm and fuzzy and happy, almost without exception, but if you like kid stories and pictures, you'll like it. But I haven't posted new pics lately because all fifty of my USB cables are packed away in a mystery box.

I think I know what to do

My three commenters had wise words, and after considering my work habits and how much time teaching actually takes up, I have come up with a third alternative. I will teach again in the spring (and hold my breath for this advanced comp class again because it means small class size and only meeting on campus once a week, plus it's fun) and I will take the whole summer off. Teaching summer school really does suck up all my time, so if I take the summer off and I can use the fellowship to help with bills and pay for daycare. I'm more likely to benefit from that extra time than I am from the extra hours I would get if I didn't teach in the regular semester.

I am also happy to report that I have found a work space that is working out better than home--a local community college. I don't have the benefit of an office, but there are plenty of public spaces here where I can work. It's a lot closer than my university and it's much less distracting than home. I've been pretty productive since I started coming here. Working from home just does not work for me.

four things meme

Supadiscomama tagged me.

4 jobs I've had in life:
-choreographer for high school flag line (professional band nerd)
-sales associate for home interiors store
-really awful job at a family-owned diner
-proofreader for a man's Vietnam memoir

4 places I've lived:
-Hooks, Texas
-Arkadelphia, Arkansas
-My mother-in-law's house for six long weeks
-a too-small condo on the 18th hole of a golf course waiting for my house to be done

4 favorite foods:
-Mexican food--doesn't even have to be good Mexican food--I love Taco Bell
-hamburgers
-thin crust pizza with light cheese, extra sauce, pepperoni and jalapeno peppers
-anything with artichoke hearts--or just artichoke hearts right out of the jar

4 places I'd rather be:
-in my house
-Europe
-in bed asleep
-having lunch with my husband

4 movies I can watch over and over (difficult b/c there are lots):
-Ferris Bueller's Day Off
-Hairspray (the original)
-A Pyromaniac's Love Story
-Casablanca

4 t.v. shows I like to watch:
-The Daily Show
-Scrubs
-Ace of Cakes
-Heroes

4 websites I view daily:
-The Weather Channel
-Google homepage
-my class's Moodle page
I really don't need anything more because the Google page does it for me--my favorite parts of it are the Google Reader and wikiHow

4 computers I've owned:
-hand-me-down IBM Aptiva when I was about 12 years old--I told my students that I had AOL when you had to pay by the minute and they were shocked that such a state ever existed
-a couple of different HP Pavilions
-Dell something-or-other--my first plat panel monitor
-Tablet PC--I insisted that I needed this and convinced my dad to trade my HP laptop for his tablet because he never used the tablet functions--guess what--I never use the tablet functions, either

4 people to tag:
I know so many people have already had this, so I apologize if this is a repeat
-LeLe at The Kings' English
-Alice at Alice's Air (she probably won't get to it because she's busy with a new little baby and big sister, but you should go click on her anyway and look at the baby pictures)
-Sooz at H-Squared
Okay--that's just three but I need to work now :)

what to do with the fellowship

I've got a nice fellowship this year and I am not sure what to do with it at this point. I could always use more money to live on. Both girls are in daycare now, and it costs a lot. A whole lot. It would actually eat up the whole fellowship by itself. I saw my adviser yesterday and he said that he thinks I should take next semester off from teaching to take full advantage of the extra money. That would actually mean taking a student loan to pay for daycare, which is the way we would have to finance it if I didn't have the fellowship. And next year when I am hopefully wrapping things up and don't have that extra money, I will probably use loan money for daycare. So what should I do? Teaching obviously takes time away from dissertating, and I am behind where I wanted to be at this point. Having babies interrupts things and also makes for good excuses when I don't get things done. The fellowship is intended to facilitate the completion of my dissertation, and giving up my teaching for a semester would allow me to commit more fully to writing. But it can also be argued that reliable childcare does the same thing. I feel like that is a responsible use of that money. So I guess what it comes down to is a choice between time and money. In the end I know I could finish my diss sooner with that extra time, but in the big picture of the academic calendar, I'm not sure that it would equal graduating or getting a job sooner. Anyone else grappled with this decision?

the fate of the blog is uncertain

I'm not sure where the blog is going. It is possible that it has run its course, and a new incarnation may be necessary. It's also possible that I may stop blogging for a while. It's hard to explain. I somehow feel like this blog doesn't fit quite right anymore. I'm going to try a new post and see how that goes.

misplaced

That's what I am now. Don't try to find me. I can't even find myself. But I am in a better mood. And back on the blog.

School has started and moving has interrupted my normal preparations, so I must now crawl into Moodle and not come out for several hours.

Checking out

I'm checking out of the blog world for a while. Lots of things suck right now, and I don't want this to just be a whiny blog, especially since I don't think whining about it will make me feel better. I'll probably be back after fall semester starts.

update

Blogging continues to be sparse because I just have too many things happening right now. School starts in a month, and there are lots of things that need to be tied up by then or it's going to get really hard. I am doing no dissertation work. I'm just taking care of the kids and trying to pack up the house for our move. But our house is not done because the rain is incessant. So even though we've gotten an extension on our rent house for a few weeks, we still face the possibility of homelessness. And homelessness is going to be much more difficult to manage once the fall semester starts. The good news is, my husband's new job is working out well. The hours are still long and irregular, and he's driving an hour one way to get there, but he's around much more than he was before. Which is good for me and good for the kids and very good for our marriage. And he's happier, so it's good for him, too. And now Baby Belle is crying so blog post is over.

Belle is in my lap now so blog post continues. I've been depressed lately and I've attributed it to a lot of things--I'm certainly stressed out and still dealing with postpartum hormones. But another thing is contributing to the problem. My hands and wrists hurt all the time. It never stops hurting. This has been going on for a long time, and it got worse when I was pregnant. I read about pregnant women having carpal tunnel syndrome and that it should get better after the baby is born, but it hasn't gotten better. I have decided that this is a serious problem and I need medical attention. But I don't know when or where to get it. I have no primary physician right now, and I am trying to move to a new city and at the same time change insurance providers. I keep putting it off because the pain is manageable, but now I'm starting to wonder if I might be making the problem worse by waiting. I haven't decided what to do. Anyone had experience with hand pain?

more on class message boards

Following up to this post:

Sleepycat asked if I get a lot of discussion on the boards when I ask them to discuss readings. It varies a lot with the readings; if they are especially compelling or provocative or if students are already invested in the topic, then there is usually some discussion. Other times, students seem to write their own posts and throw them up on the message boards without much effort to engage others. If they read the other posts, I can't tell because they are more concerned with just fulfilling their own assignment than with participating in a discussion. I think that's okay sometimes. The discussion prompt requires them to do some analysis and select a specific example, so they have still done some work in careful reading and critical thinking. Sometimes I let it rest at that. If I feel like the discussion has potential to be more useful and productive, I will sometimes forgo a new discussion and direct them back to the last discussion, which forces them to respond to their fellow students' ideas. That works well for that specific assignment, and it also encourages them to initiate discussions in the future. It takes some prodding, but usually not too much.

Literacy-chic asked how I give them instructions. In the hybrid class, I give some general instructions on the syllabus, and I also give oral instructions on the first day of class as a sort of introduction to how we'll use the message boards. Then I give them written instructions online for every single discussion. I remind them frequently that they should engage other students and that they must give specific examples, sometimes requiring quotes. I repeat myself A LOT, but many students have trouble following directions because they rely too much on their memory of what the assignment is rather than going back to the instructions and checking them. I don't talk about it in class meetings much because I want them to learn to take responsibility for reading and following instructions themselves, but I do give them lots of written reminders online. Giving instructions for each individual discussion also allows the assignment to "evolve" over the semester, as L-C mentioned in her comment. As long as the instructions are there for that specific discussion, the students can be expected to understand what is required of them, even if it is somewhat different from other discussions earlier in the semester.

I start every discussion with my own opening post. Here's one from this summer that went well:

In Lucy Grealy's essay "Masks," she comments, "My sister and her friends never had to worry about their appearance, or so it seemed to me, so why didn't they always feel as bold and happy as I felt that night?" (p. 43)

In your first paper, you will use an extended example of something that happened in your own life to comment on larger issues of identity and community, so you will need to make your experience relevant to others. With the statement above, Grealy shows how her unique situation created feelings that were relevant to people who did not have the same exceptional circumstances. People who have no facial deformity can still relate to her story on some level.

How do the authors of the essays you have read in chapters 1 and 2 of your textbook connect their particular topics to a larger audience? It may not be as explicit as Grealy's statement--it might be implied. Do you relate to the essays in any way? How and why? Choose one example to discuss in this forum. You may comment on the same essays--even the same specific passages--as other students have as long as you add to the discussion and don't just repeat what someone else has already said.

For this assignment I gave them an example to model what kind of responses I wanted, and I also told them how this discussion and the readings were relevant to the writing assignment they were working on and to their larger writing concerns. I think that students often feel that readings in a writing class are unnecessary extra work, so I try to help them understand why reading helps you become a better writer. I know they won't always get it, but I hope some do.

I'll get back to this topic later and address working in groups. Please keep commenting--I love exchanging teaching ideas.

The Singing Bee

is the best game show ever.

communication in online classes

Warning--this is way too long. To summarize: I am thinking about how I might modify the way I use message boards in my hybrid class based on what I learned in my totally online class. If that is boring to you, stop now. If that sounds interesting in the least, you are just the person I want to hear from!

My summer online class was great. Students participated much more easily and productively online than in the fall. Part of that may be summer--students expect classes to be more intensive than in a regular semester. Another big difference is that this class was totally online instead of a hybrid class that meets in person. In the fall I teach the hybrid class again, so I'm looking at how to carry over the success from this summer, specifically in the message boards.

Students in the hybrid class don't participate as well in the message boards because they consider the face-to-face meetings more important. They don't seem interested in the online part because it's just "supplement," not "real" class. They just go through the motions. Some of the things I did differently in the summer session might help in the fall, though. I give extensive instructions for formal papers, but I wanted the students to take the lead in their discussions, so I tried to leave the instructions more open. I run my on-campus classes that way and I have been successful, but I think that students are less comfortable in the electronic format. While they are online all the time and they are certainly well-versed in electronically mediated conversation, the combination of online communication and class work is fairly new to them. So this time I gave them more specific topics for discussion along with a sample answer for each. In the beginning, they followed the model I offered closely but it didn't take long for them to start shaping the discussions themselves, which was the goal. I think my notion of student-led online discussions was a little too hands-off, and offering just a bit more instruction made a big difference. I think it's a confidence thing--they didn't know what I wanted so they were too cautious to do much of anything.

One challenge of the message boards is to have an actual discussion and not just a string of unrelated entries. I overtly encouraged discussion by suggesting that they take up examples that other students had already mentioned. Each post required an example to support their claim, but I stated in the initial post that they could use an example that another student had already brought up as long as they were adding to the discussion and not just repeating what had been said. That helped as much as any instructions do--it relies on the student to follow directions. I also went back a few times and instead of asking new questions, directed them to the previous thread and required new posts in that discussion. The second time around they did not bring up new examples but had to respond to what was there. That helped a lot, and I'll do it earlier next time. After the first time I did that, I noticed a change in the boards right away--they were more involved with their classmates and not just posting their piece and leaving.

One of my favorite assignments was a required discussion of works in progress. For each paper, I required them to post something--anything--about their papers and to post their theses. I also sent them back to that thread for a second round each time. Students who had no argument figured it out before the paper was due--big step!--and those who had been putting their work off had to get started earlier or they wouldn't have anything to say. I also responded to every post on the board. A few students told me that this open discussion of the writing process taught them better than any other assignments. Success!

I am thinking about a change for the fall, but I haven't made a decision yet. Last spring I held discussions of the readings during our on-campus meetings, not on the message boards. The purpose of the readings in this class are to analyze writing styles, structures, and techniques. I thought that was better done in class so that I could direct the discussion and point out passages and answer questions more efficiently. What happened was that they didn't read and just waited for me to tell them what was important--very little discussion and very little point in the end. In the summer I had them analyze the readings independently and write responses--which included quotes--in the message boards. That was a necessity because there were no on-campus meetings, but I think they ended up doing better. So now I'm considering focusing more on workshop-type activities during on-campus meetings and doing analysis of the readings online in the fall. No sure yet, but I do know my previous method needs to be tweaked (hopefully without the addition of quizzes. I hate giving quizzes.)

Okay--way too long. I'd love your thoughts, especially you online teachers.

Team Whymommy

I'm a little late getting to this, but I want to show my support for Whymommy at Toddler Planet. I've been reading her blog for about a year, and she always has great stories and insights about being a mom and watching her kids learn about their world. I've learned a lot from her. She's got a toddler and a six-month-old baby, and now she's fighting breast cancer. She needs lots of positive energy (no pity allowed!). Check her out.

long time, no blog

So, it's been awhile, but I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. I thought I would jump back into the blog, but I started by catching up on the blogroll, and sheesh! I'm tired now. But class is over and I have some things to say about that. For now I need to stop my head from spinning over all the goings-on at Anastasia, Scrivenings, and Words, Words. And answer my thousand emails. I received a lovely thank-you note from a student. In summary: "I have enjoyed your class and learned so much and improved my writing exponentially. You are the best teacher ever. And by the way, may I rewrite my final paper so I can get an A this time?" Sorry, no dice. Grades are in.

for more on online classes

I have way too much happening right now, but I will get to my post on online class discussions. For now, though, Sleepycat has some great observations.

inconsiderate

This is a personal vent. My husband worked two double shifts in a row, Friday and Saturday, because he only has two shift managers and they both asked off. Today he was supposed to go in at 4:00 p.m. He had to go in at 11:00 a.m. because at the time the restaurant was supposed to open, no manager was in sight. Just didn't show. I had been looking through recipes all week to put together a special meal for Father's Day, which is not so easy because my husband is picky. I cooked steak for the first time ever. I made a red wine marinade. Rebekah and I decorated cupcakes yesterday. But he missed it all. We had enough time to get up, take pictures of the girls with Daddy, and get happy about spending half a day together--we have to get excited about half a day--and then he had to leave and I'd already started cooking. Can't stop in the middle. My gift is wasted. It's in the refrigerator. It was good when I ate it alone at lunch, but day-old steak is not a special meal. And grilled potatoes that simply can't be reheated. And I ate three cupcakes. He had none. I've been depressed all day.

I'm more upset because this is not just a consequence of the job that takes too many hours. Someone did this to us. He had asked off for the weekend but in order to avoid using vacation time, opted for Friday and Saturday rather than Sunday. And then he didn't show up on Sunday and is not answering his phone or returning phone calls. Maybe something bad happened. I doubt it. It is more likely that he decided it was more important to be off work, so he just didn't go in. This happens a lot. And my husband is always the one who has to cover because he's the boss. So fire him, right? Sure, but then my husband has to work his 40 hours a week. Doesn't help the situation. It wasn't like this where we lived before. And there's only one more week left in this place, so maybe the new place will be better. My husband will be driving an hour every day until our house is ready, but he is happy to do it at this point.

Why do some people refuse to consider the consequences that their actions have for others? If this was an isolated incident, I wouldn't still be sad. But it happens all the time. And I am left alone. Today I am taking it personally.

summer class

Thanks for keeping up with me even though blogging has become sparse. Lots of life things are happening. And thank you for the great comments on my last post. I took your advice to heart while I was grading my first set of papers from the summer class.
This class is going quite well. The online discussion are great and the students are really interacting with each other. I thought that the online interaction would be better in the hybrid class last spring because they saw each other in person once a week, but actually the online interactions in this class are much better. I'm thinking about the possible reasons for that so I can keep improving my online classes. But I'll have to get to that later--baby is impatiently calling me.

love me or hate me

I got course evaluations from last semester, and there is no middle ground. They love me or hate. I got more good reviews than bad, but the bad ones were really bad. And the good ones were really good. It's weird. Several of them wrote that this was their favorite class, that they absolutely loved it, lots of exclamation points and capital letters. But one student wrote that my comments on her paper made her feel stupid and destroyed any confidence she had in writing. She (I'm guessing about who it was) suggested that I write, "This is good but you need to make improvements here," instead of just pointing out all the bad parts. Another student said he learned nothing at all and that it was three hours of tuition thrown out the window. Harsh. Some of them mentioned that they didn't realize the class would have so much online work when they registered. I have remedied that problem for summer and fall, and the online component is listed in the course schedule. (But there will be some who still don't get it.)

It's not easy trying to figure out what to do with class evaluations every semester. This one is particularly difficult because the responses are so polar. Was it really that good AND that bad? I think that I can soften up my comments on papers. Students always think I grade too hard, but my colleagues get that comment a lot, too. And many teachers inflate grades, which affects students' expectations. I am confident in my grading, but I'm going to look back on the comments I wrote on student papers and consider the tone. Maybe I'll see something in hindsight.

A few questions for the blogosphere:
Is it important to find good things to say about every student paper, even if it is seriously flawed?
How do I deal with evaluations that are so polarized?
Should I pay to check myself out on Pick-a-Prof or will that do more harm than good?

found a place to live

We're buying a house. It's a really nice, brand new house. Actually, right now it's a slab, but in a couple of months it will be a house. Sometimes I'm excited and sometimes it makes me so nervous I want to throw up.

On another note, summer school started today and half of my students have already logged in to the course website and started their assignments. Great sign. I like starting a new class--I'm always happy and optimistic. I love that about this career--every few months there's a clean slate and a fresh start.

blogging pseudonyms

Blogging pseudonyms are annoying me right now (mine, not yours). I forget to use them because I think I just quit worrying so much over being "found out." Largely because those who haven't heard about my blog from me have heard it through the grapevine. But there will be the job search one day. And I did a Google test using my name and my girls' names and, guess what it turns up--Mommy, Ph.D. So what do you think? Do I go back and delete all the real names in my posts and start using pseudonyms? I'll need a new one for the baby. I like RB and think it suits her, but AB doesn't work for the baby.

Know why I have three posts today? I'm almost done with my essay and I am avoiding it. And I don't have a lot of procrastination time with a baby at home. Get to work, Sarah!

positive

Okay, I'll stop being so mopey and say something positive. The husband's new city is very nice. It's a "master-planned community" with lots of cool shops and fabulous restaurants and fun stuff for kids because lots of rich people live there. It's a little too close to Extremely Large City for my comfort and a little too rich for our bank account. But the adjacent town where we hope to live is also nice, not quite so "master-planned," and close enough for husband to commute easily. It has stores and restaurants and parks. We live in a tiny little place right now and have to drive twenty miles to College Town for any of those things--seriously, can't even find the food I want at the local grocery store. There are several great preschools to choose from, all of them with openings for three-year-olds. None of them have openings for infants, but that is an entirely different issue and I still haven't decided what to do with Annabelle or when to do it. I'm content with her strapped to my chest for the time being.

Off topic, I've been amused at the names of preschools and daycare centers as I've been researching. Many of them are descriptively titled, "Christian Church Preschool" or "Local City Montessori." Others are more creative, "All God's Little Children" or "Frogs and Fairies." Others emphasize academics, "Academy of Excellence"--seriously! They love to use the words "academy" and "excellence" and "learning center" in various ways. Even the in-home child care providers with a maximum of, like, eight kids give their operations names like "Little Angels Academy" or "Sugar and Spice Child Development Center." Not exaggerating, people.

It makes me want to put a sign on my door: Mommy, Ph.D.'s Center of Excellence for the Nurturing of Girl Geniuses. Maximum capacity: 2.