One of the most frequent questions I get in person and via Google referrals is probably, how do you raise a child while going to school? (I don't know how punctuation is supposed to work in that sentence--it always bugs me. If anyone has a definitive answer on that, I am open to it.) I don't really believe that raising a child in grad school is any harder than raising a child with any career, but one thing that is usually part of being in grad school is living far from family. I often fantasize about being able to call my mom when I need help with RB or if an emergency comes up, especially when I call and she's taking care of my brother's kids. Wouldn't it be nice? But that's just not possible for me or for most people in this line of work. But I have friends. (Here's where things are going to get a little mushy.)
I've been thinking about what's going to happen when AB is born and remembering how things were when RB was a baby. I couldn't have gotten through it without a few people (you know who you are!) who cared for my baby at various, often random times while I took a full course load and taught a class with a really inconvenient schedule that had me on campus at 9:00 a.m. and 5:15 p.m., not to mention night classes. And for several months there, she was a sickly baby who screamed the whole time I was out of her sight. My situation is much different now, but I don't know what I would have done without them. And I am grateful, too, for a friendship that grew out of my offer to help out a fellow student-mom whom I barely knew at the time because I knew what it was like to need help and not know where that help was going to come from. Now she and her family are very important to me and to my daughter.
I don't have an active social life. I never have "Mommy's night out." I hardly even go out with my husband. I pretty much work and hang out with my kid. But I do know that there are people around who will help me when I need it. And I hope they think of me when they need help. It's crucial to have a network of support. I don't know anybody who could truly do it alone.
This post brought to you by sappy, pregnant, emotional Sarah.
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2 comments:
Hmmm... I never get that question. Seriously. But I just strap the baby to my back & keep working or something... ;)
I really like sappy, emotional, pregnant Sarah :-) I've learned that she's one supportive person I can count on! And, I've come to agree with my mom that *one* person you can count on is better than five people who *might* be there to help you out!
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