holidaze

Finally back home from visiting the family. Everything went well. No conflicts. RB was (mostly) angelic. Now we have PILES of toys in the living room. Next purchase: toy box.

I have a lot of work to do before school starts and before my next meeting with my advisor. I am embarrased by the lack of progress I have made on the dissertation front. It's not that I haven't been working--it's that I haven't been working on that. And it has to change. But I can't work yet because RB's preschool is closed until Thursday. That means a few more days to try to get the house back in some kind of manageable order. I don't know how people work with kids at home. I can't do it. I can steal a little time during the afternoon nap, but by the time she goes to bed for the night, six-month-pregnant Sarah is pretty much worthless.

So now I'm going to put away the clothes from our suitcases (the husband, of course, is back at work) while watching the Ace of Cakes marathon on Food Network.

P.S. I haven't been on a date with my husband since our anniversary in July.

lactation room

My university just established a lactation room in my building. It's certainly not convenient for everyone in the (very very large) university, but it's a start. And not a bad place to start--the English department has been producing babies at an astounding rate lately.

Person of the Year; Thank you very much :)

Time magazine's decision to name me--and you, who are participating with me in the user-generated web universe--Person of the Year was like a big ol' Christmas present just for me. This is SOOOO what I'm teaching next semester. It raises so many questions of composition, authorship, audience, identity, and community--very exciting for advanced comp. I am on a teaching high already and I'm just writing the syllabus. After a disappointing semester with technical writing (well, not so much disappointing as just plain boring), I am looking forward to a new course with an exciting topic and a new batch of students. And perhaps I will write a dissertation, too.

Bart Simpson Makes Fun Of Grad Students

Enjoy!

For those who like a carnival

Cotton candy and funnel cake are currently being served at The Carnival of GRADual Progress.

grading participation

My head is already in next semester, and I wanted to throw a question out to the blog world: How do you grade participation?

I am torn about whether to include participation as part of a course grade. Including it in the grade communicates to the students that their preparation for and participation in class activities (which will include class meetings and an online component in my case) is essential, but it also ends up being difficult to quantify. How do you make a participation grade more than simply an attendence grade? And how do you keep it from inflating grades?

400 words=awesome writing assignment

I have found a new writing assignment for advanced composition next semester, thanks to a Newsweek story about a literary magazine called 400 Words. The magazine publishes autobiographical nonfiction pieces with a 400-word limit. The theme of my course is Identity and Community, and what better way to wrap up the semester than with this exercise in clear, concise writing? And they will have the option then to submit it for publication. And ending the semester with such a short assignment means less grading stress--especially important since I will have a newborn by then. That's right--teaching next semester and giving birth in April. Can I do it? I sort of have to. I have it all planned out--hopefully Little Bit will respect the schedule.

Dear Students,

Semester is over. Grades are turned in. No, you cannot do extra credit. Yes, that is your final grade. I realize that it is of the utmost importance that you get an A. I am sorry that life as you know it will end when your grade is posted. But it is a little late in the game to do anything about it. Ship has sailed. Fat lady has sung. Insert your cliche of choice. I know you hate me, and I am comfortable with that.

Sincerely,
Your Teacher

overcoming writer's block and new experiences in literary criticism

I got over the writing hump, and things are now progressing. I moved past this last block in the way I often do--by starting in the middle. I am very comfortable with close reading. It is really just fun. I love it, and I think I'm good at it. So I skipped the sort of set-up that has to happen to introduce my argument and methods, jumped right into the stories, and I've filled up lots of pages quickly. I'm not finished with that stage yet, but as I have written it I feel like I have a better grasp on what I need to write in my introductory pages. So, good.

I've also had an interesting experience while writing this essay. I don't think I've ever written two essays on the same text before. There aren't a lot of opportunities for that in grad school because most of your papers have to be on a course topic. I think this is also the first time that I have produced a whole piece independent of a class. It's kind of exciting. I described this project a bit in my previous post--it's on a text that I've written about before and it's making an argument that is close to but not the same as the argument I made in a previous paper. I kind of thought that I would be able to draw large pieces from my previous essay, but that is not happening. This may sound a little simple-minded and unsophisticated, but I am really excited by the fact that I am analyzing the same stories, I have not changed my mind about what the stories mean, yet I am writing two completely separate readings. They are totally complementary and work together in interesting ways, and of course, I've read essays that work together like that before, but I've never written them. It's fun. And it's nice to have fun while working.

Another clear benefit to this, even though it's not saving me time now, is that my other essay will remain something very different from this one, so I can hopefully get both of them published without worrying about one looking like a revised version of the other. I really think that first one deserves to be published, and I'd like to send it out soon. This one is turning out to be quite good, I think, but I am not as confident. I have a fear that my essay will be cut from the collection in the end, and all of this will be for naught. But maybe I could find a home for it somewhere else if that happens. We'll see.

And now I must work. I don't want to push my luck and piss off the editor by not getting my submission in on time.

words not coming

I finished my paper last week with a grand sprint to the end, and I was pleased with it. But I still have an essay for a collection due December 15, and I can't seem to get it done. It's not so much writer's block as a complete disinterest in the task. I have already written an essay that is very close to this topic, but it does not fit the topic of the collection. So I proposed a new essay that does fit in with the collection but does not require more extensive research. The paper has to be different because I am making a completely separate argument--it's not just a revision of the other paper. And I like this argument--I think it's smart and interesting and right, and my advisor does, too. As does the editor of the collection, apparently. So why is it that I don't want to write the essay? I think what is missing here is the excitement of delving so deeply into the text and discovering things there and developing my interpretation--I feel like I've already done all that. I know exactly what I'm going to say and exactly what evidence I'm going to use because I have spent a great deal of time with this text working on the other paper and this argument is sort of adjacent to that one. It seems like I should be able to spit out this essay in record time. I'm just not into it right now. And I'm not sure how I'm going to force myself over this hump.

nuts and bolts

I made the switch to Blogger Beta, but I'm still a bit nervous about what kinds of kinks it might have. Please let me know if this has screwed up your feed subscriptions or anything. I like the labels, and I am tempted now to go back and tag all of my posts and get rid of the tag cloud I've got down there.

New Mama on the block

Welcome to our bloggy world, AcadeMama.

fathering

Supadiscomama has a nice post on fatherhood, which has inspired yet another post on work-family conflict. I certainly do not disagree with Supadiscomama. Yes, I think that we need to change our assumption that mothers are better at parenting than fathers in order to get away from the expectation that women are the primary caregivers. Something revolutionary needs to happen in the realm of men's work before this can be possible.

My friends can attest to an equitable division of home labor in their families, but they are lucky women, indeed. Such is not the case in my home, and it is not because my husband and I ascribe to old ideals about gendered work. It is because the world around us still holds those ideals. Men, including fathers, are expected to perform as ideal workers more than women. There is much less tolerance for men taking paternity leave or going home early to be with family or taking off work to care for sick children. My husband has one of those jobs that depends on my availability to do most of the work at home, including child care. He's not a high-powered executive chasing the almighty dollar. He's a restaurant manager. At all income levels, those jobs are the norm, not the exception.

Here is where choice rhetoric comes in--he has chosen that career and he could choose one that is more family friendly. But, of course, it's not nearly so simple to drop everything and start over in a new career with no experience. And he has paid a "daddy tax" by acting out of that ideal worker norm. When he chose to relocate so I could go to school, he lost a promotion and all his seniority, which means he has been in the same position for years and has lost some long-term income potential. And it will happen again after I graduate and ask him, once again, to quit his job in favor of mine.

My husband wants to care for our child, and I have left her alone with him while I have gone to conferences (but admittedly, I am nervous when I do). He is a good father, and he is involved with our child's life. And he cleans the house and does the dishes from time to time (someone has to--I am not a good housekeeper). But I am the one in charge of managing our home, making sure all the bills are paid and the clothes are washed and the groceries are bought. And I am RB's primary caregiver. It's not the way we would choose it to be if it were really our choice. It's the way that his job demands his time and mine allows for much more flexibility.

academics with children

Bitch, Ph.D. recently responded to a reader’s question about the feasibility of getting a Ph.D. while raising three children—LOTS of discussion there. Academom and Geeky Mom have also responded on their own blogs.

To add my two cents, of course it’s hard to get a graduate degree and raise children. It’s hard to have any career and raise children. Some people will succeed as if they don’t even have children while others will not finish their degrees. That happens among people who don’t have children, too. I do think that in some places women can be taken less seriously if they have children, but I have not experienced that in my department.

The problem is not just with academia but with the general expectation in most careers that employees will be ideal workers who can devote almost unlimited time to their jobs without interference from family responsibilities (read Joan Williams’s Unbending Gender: Why Family and Work Conflict and What to do About It). If you’re a mother who performs as an ideal worker, then you must be neglecting your children. If your family responsibilities interfere with your work because you have to take off when kids are sick or you can’t work after five because you have to be home, then you are not committed to your career and you don’t deserve rewards like promotions or fellowships. Some of these considerations come into play in grad school, with course work and deadlines, others come up in the job search (who has time to publish when you’re doing all you can to meet your degree requirements?), but I think it is even more intensified on the tenure track (but I can’t personally attest to this yet).

I think that I have done well raising one child while in grad school—we’ll soon see how I do with two. It is doable. But I expect that my responsibilities as a mother will effect my career in the long-term. I am on a race to finish my dissertation before my funding runs out, hopefully publishing something along the way. But I’m certain that I will take a year longer than I would have without kids. And when I look for a job, I am not hoping to end up at a major research university, especially if that means moving multiple times to get there. I don’t want to the intense pressure of two books for tenure because I don’t want to put in the hours for it. I want to be with my family and I want to be happy when I’m with them, not worried about my job. That is my choice, you say? Well, maybe, but what kind of choice is that? My career OR my kids? I have adapted my notion of success in this career to something that allows me to teach and do my work and have plenty of time for my family. I don’t believe I can find this ideal at an elite university, so I do not aspire to work at an elite university. I know that you can probably name me some people who have done it all, but I don’t see that in my life. So I intend to accept the glass-mommy-ceiling, but that doesn’t mean I’m always happy about it.

For more on the effect of motherhood on academic careers, see Mary Ann Mason’s Do Babies Matter? project.

More on evangelicals and politics

Harrogate has accepted my invitation and responded to my post about the Christian Coalition. And I have responded on his blog. Go see it if you're interested in this topic.

Teaching carnival

Here.

Shopping

I just marked 13 people off my Christmas shopping list. I heart Amazon.com.

So what does Focus on the Family say about work-family conflict?

I gave a teaser of my paper earlier this week, and some people have expressed interest. Of course, I won't post my paper here, but I have selected the most representative statement from the FOF website about work-family conflict (which is, apparently, only a woman's problem).

I'm too tired tonight to offer commentary. Let me know what you think.

Potential writing crisis (pretty much) averted

So my paper I was writing for my women's studies class? Due next Tuesday, right? Wrong! Due tomorrow at 4:00 p.m.! I discovered this in class today because I'm a flake who does not look at her syllabus. Which, by the way, says in big capital letters: LATE PAPERS WILL NOT BE ACCEPTED. NO EXCEPTIONS!!!

Fortunately, I have fairly good work habits, so I had already done a good chunk of the paper. I also like to plan my papers to death before I write, so I had done a ton of reading and note taking and outlining. So I managed to write ten pages between 12:30 and 7:00 today and to edit my works cited page. My husband helped me out by picking up RB from daycare and taking her on a little excursion to give me a couple more hours to work before they were home (no way can I work with her around, even if my husband is home to help). So things are all better now. I just have to write a conclusion, then do some minor editing and proofreading tomorrow. And I even get to go to bed at a decent hour.

You know, it's nice to be a student in a real class sometimes. Makes me a little more sympathetic to my students.

Supadiscomama!

Supadiscomama is trying to be sneaky and start a blog without telling anyone. But I see you!

have a laugh

I like to read Indexed, and this post made me giggle today.

But before I get started, here's something on the Christian Coalition

Yesterday I heard this NPR story about the head of the Christian Coalition stepping down because he wanted to expand the agenda to include poverty and the environment. I don't want to turn this into a political or a religious blog, so I've been avoiding some of these issues here. But this deserves a link, and if it ends up on another blog, say The Rhetorical Situation, I might engage in some discussion as I have before (but I certainly don't intend to make Harrogate feel obligated to respond).

So, anyway, I've been talking about the movements of politically active evangelicals away from the stereotypical "religious right" for a long time, asserting that the beliefs of all evangelicals are not necessarily reflected by James Dobson and certainly not by Pat Robertson (granted many do agree with them but the consensus is not as uniform as it sometimes appears). This dissonance has been in my mind for a long time and when I first started expressing it aloud, meeting understandably skeptical responses from friends, it seemed to me to exist as a kind of silent majority. Now they are not silent, and mainstream media outlets like Newsweek and NPR are picking up on the stories.

I am certianly not denying that many evagelicals strongly believe in the principles of the religious right as it has been narrowly defined in the past. But many have other priorities and cannot be lumped in with those who have created the stereotypes we have today. And now those people are becoming politically active and visible. Many people are faithful evangelicals earnestly trying to do "what Jesus would do," and they believe that Jesus is leading them in different directions than the Christian political leaders have been leading them.

Edited to add: The paper I am writing is a discourse analysis of Focus on the Family's advice to mothers, specifically on work-family conflict. So this post is right along with academics and motherhood. So I'm not as off-topic as I originally thought (certainly more on-topic than posting a picture of my pecan pie). Now off to write.

Writing all day long

That's what I'm doing. No good blogging this week. Sorry.

The Speed of Meme (not following directions)

I'm sure I'm overthinking this whole meme experiment, but here's my response. I don't post memes. I don't know if I've ever posted a meme on this blog. I like to read them sometimes and I may post one in the future if it appeals to me, but so far I just don't do it. So I don't know if I should be counted in this whole thing.

But I do link to things I find interesting, and I find this interesting, especially since they're going to talk about it at MLA. So here's a link to the Speed of Meme experiment. I'm not following the directions for tracking the meme, but I am responding in the way I typically respond to things I read on other blogs--a link and a nod (look, I made a pun)--and Scott can do with it what he will.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Mmmm...
I think we'll start with this.

another blogger on "balance"

In this week's spirit of lazy posting, here's a link to Mom and Much More's "On Balancing." She expresses what I know many working mothers feel.

The issue of work-family conflict has been at the front of my mind for several weeks now, and I have a post simmering. I haven't gotten to it because I don't want it to be totally abstract and I am a bit too emotional when it becomes about me. I tried to talk to my husband about it this week and ended up in tears. That is not to say that I am unhappy in my life--I think that I have figured out how to make being a student and being a mother mesh pretty well, which was not the case in my daughter's first year. But there are long term concerns because my responsibilities will change dramatically once I am on a tenure track (or struggling as an adjunct, whatever my fate may be). Things will change then, and I will pay a mommy tax in the long run.

Delurk!

Since day care is closed tomorrow, deadlines are approaching, and I'm still throwing up several times a week, I'm taking the easy way out for blogging this week. According to Profgrrrrl, whom I just added to my Google Reader, it is Thanksgiving Delurking Week! My numbers have been creeping up there, so I know there are some new people around.

If you've never commented before, now's the time! Make yourself heard! Here or anywhere--it is always a pleasant surprise when I get comments on posts from way back.

and now for some whining about pregnancy

Obviously, it is often difficult to be a graduate student with a child. Especially in my situation because my husband has one of those jobs that he couldn't do without someone at home providing the "family work"--cleaning (but I am, admittedly, a bad housekeeper), cooking, child care, paying bills, balancing the checkbook, etc.

But, you know, it's also pretty hard to be a pregnant graduate student, too. This goes for any career, I'm sure, but people don't really talk about how hard it is to work while you're pregnant (and it varies tremendously from one woman to another). I experienced this with my first pregnancy, too--during the first three months I could hardly do anything because I was so sick and tired, which meant that I was much less productive and my worked piled up so I had a lot to catch up on when I felt better.

This one is harder because the sick and tired is persistently lingering on. I am almost 20 weeks pregnant and I am still throwing up. I thought maybe it was over this week but I started this morning heaving into the toilet. And now I have to work. And I have let things pile up so I have to work well and work efficiently. Ick. I keep waiting for the easy phase to start. I remember an easy phase before, but it is nowhere in sight right now.

My Two Blogs; or, Where does venting belong?

As I put together my class for next semester, which includes a substantial blogging assignment, I have been obsessing again over blogs and audience. (See these two early posts) Also, I have two blogs now, so there have been a couple of times when I have asked myself which blog should I post to. And then Je m'amuse commented on this post that not telling anyone about her blog leaves her "safe to vent." I've also seen the word "vent" come up in comments on the various posts discussing Dr. Crazy's current predicament.

I am very conscious of my audience--I feel like I know pretty well who is reading my blog but I also know that any number of people connected to me IRL could find my blog through the grapevine. I do want to be sure that nothing I say here will get me into trouble or, as I have discussed before, violate the trust of my students. I don't really vent much here, but of course, I have my moments, like the recent vent about my father-in-law's comments about my job. I posted that here because (1) it is directly relevant to my blog "topic" and to the majority of my readers, who have experienced similar problems with family, and (2) no one who is connected in any way to my in-laws has my blog address. There's no chance that he will read this. I have read other bloggers discussing problems with family, friends, and colleagues--not unusual by any stretch-- and, as Anastasia experienced during her committee ordeal, people like to read about other people's problems. If that weren't the case, this whole blog thing wouldn't be so popular. But things become sticky when the people you are venting about are the ones reading your blog.

When I posted my vent today about my difficult pregnancy, I chose this blog because I know that a lot of my readers have kids or are considering having kids and might have an interest--moms like to talk about mom stuff. And it fits the "motherhood and academia" theme. I did not post it on my other blog, which is all about our family, including pregnancy updates, because of the audience I have chosen for that blog. Those readers are family members and friends, and the tone is decidedly warm and fuzzy. "Being pregnant kind of sucks sometimes" is not warm and fuzzy, and I prefer, when I feel better, to post something along the lines of "Look how cute RB's pigtails are."

This post was much more coherent in my head--my point is that we bloggers must be conscious of our audience all the time, especially if venting is a component of the blog (and I do not deny the cathartic benefits of venting). If we're venting about a student, that clearly has the potential for professional problems. If we're venting about people in our personal lives, that has the potential for hurt feelings and damaged relationships--sort of like walking up on someone gossiping about you behind your back. And it is not nice to out a blogger who clearly wishes to remain anonymous. I am a little irritated on Dr. Crazy's behalf. (But I am not too concerned with being anonymous, so if you know me I don't mind if you tell people about my blog--it's just the whole Google thing I'd like to avoid.)

As for venting on my blogs, I will judiciously vent a little here, I won't vent much at all on the other one, and most of my venting will be on the phone or in the office with my friends. Unless I decide I need a vent-safe blog. And I won't be telling you about it if I do.

church sign

There is Baptist church in my university town with a huge, ever-changing sign on a busy street. I have always appreciated a well-thought church sign--sort of a "sentence sermon" I've heard it called. But the sentences on this sign puzzle me, and my husband and I have decided we should start collecting them to share with friends (The Rhetorical Situation crew should make a point to drive by it every so often). A few weeks ago, it read,

"The letter I is always in the middle of anxiety."
I have come up with several interpretations, but this is one I still fail to get.

This week, it reads,
"Faith is like driving in the fog."
Wow. So faith is extremely hazardous and should be avoided if at all possible.

I think that someone should call the church sign guy and give him some feedback. He needs help.

Teaching carnival

Teaching carnival #16 is here.

my online students are being very quiet

Update on ethical dilemmas: I have decided that I will continue to blog about my class but I will avoid references to specific students. That talk will have to stay in the office. (Which is somehow not so bad?) I am still struggling with the Turnitin issue.

For the first time, my students are working on a project with an extended working period--about a month--and it's wrapping up this week. This whole time they have been very quiet. they have small weekly assignments, and they are logging on and doing those, but only two have actually asked questions about the assignment they are working on now. I post announcements frequently, urging them to keep in touch with me, but it has been to no avail. I am sure that some students have felt disconnected from me because of the online format, but this is the first time that I have really felt disconnected from them. I have no idea what is going on.

I can't help but feel like this means they are doing pretty much nothing and will try to throw together their reports in the next two days. We'll see.

Masters before doctorate?

This week a Googler posed the question, "Should I work on a master's if I'm going to get a doctorate degree?" I know that most of my readers are past the point at which the answer might be helpful, but I'll offer my opinion for the benefit of future Googlers.

There are a few disadvantages to getting the master's first--mostly it just takes longer, and master's students do not typically get the same level of support that doctoral students get. Based on conversations with friends who have gotten a master's and remained at the same institution for the doctorate, some feelings of burn-out are likely--it is a long time to be in one place, and you have to jump through the hoops for one degree, just to start over on a new one.

Having said that, I think that in many cases it is a good idea to get the master's degree first. In the final year of my undergraduate program, I started the process of applying into doctoral programs and did not complete my applications. I took the GRE general and subject tests, got recommendations, polished writing samples, etc., but the process of applying made me realize that I was not ready for that step. A doctoral program is a huge, long-term commitment to an institution and to yourself, and I was not prepared to take that step yet. I decided to apply to the master's program at my undergrad university--I knew I could do it in two years and, of course, it did not carry the anxiety of relocating (my personal life was also in upheaval, which contributed to that decision).

After a year of graduate work, I started my doctoral applications again. Better writing sample. Better personal statement. Better test scores. And I actually had an idea about how to choose a school. Because I got my Master's degree first, my doctoral applications were better, my scholarship was more mature, and I was better prepared to commit to a doctoral program for the long haul. I still had a lot of anxiety starting at a new school and I certainly dealt with imposter syndrome (alas, it lingers on), but I benefited tremendously from taking that middle step. And I got a degree out of it.

We're having a girl!

Little Bit is a girl, and her name is Annabelle (middle name pending). She is due April 12. Happy happy joy joy.

Since RB has a code-name, then I guess Annabelle should be AB. But I still like to call her Little Bit. I think it's a Southern thing.

ethics of blogging about students, second installment

Okay, I scrolled over my posts for the semester and deleted two which referred to my recent plagiarism case. I have always been careful about the way I blog about students, but this is the incident that made me think very hard about this issue. I do not believe that the posts I deleted say anything that could be harmful to me or the student--in fact they revealed very little info about the case and were two of the shortest posts I have ever written. Just a couple of sentences each. But plagiarism is such a serious and touchy issue that I don't think there is a good way to blog about a case even in the vaguest terms.

So here's another post I want to question. In it I refer to general problems with my class, but I also mention a specific student (not by name, of course) who had not purchased a textbook. Is it okay to refer to one particular student in a blog?

I do believe that the way I discussed my class has been ethical, and I don't think it is anything that could get me into trouble (except that the fact that I have a blog at all is enough in some people's opinion to label me a trouble-maker or a slacker who spends too much time frivolously playing online instead of doing real work--but that's another issue and there's been plenty talk about that already). The problems of an online class are important to discuss and this electronic forum is the perfect medium for it. I believe that blogging about general class issues is useful and ethical, but I still have questions about any reference to a particular student, even when it is vague and anonymous.

Edited to add: I am not so concerned with the question of "Could I get fired for this?" although that is one way to look at it. I am really concerned about whether it is ethical behavior and if it might be some violation of students' trust.

election reaction and a plea to readers

My predictions were correct (but they weren't exactly long shots). The governor was elected with 40% of the vote. Which means 60% of the voters still wish he would go away. Pathetic. I don't blame Kinky because I think Carole Strayhorn took more votes from Perry than Kinky took from Bell. Bell would have had a chance if he'd had more money earlier on.

And the two local Congressional races I was watching were won by Democrats--two of the few Democrats who won in this state. They are both conservative Democrats endorsed by the NRA. But we're in Bush country. That is to be expected.

I was pretty cynical yesterday, not expecting to take much comfort in the results even if they did turn out the way I hoped. But today I am heartened by the overall shift in power. Perhaps optimism will follow.

That is enough for politics. I wish more people would respond to this. So far the only replies are from me and two people who do not blog about teaching at all (but I do appreciate their comments and their perspectives). Come on, guys. Where are the teacher-bloggers?

Election Day predictions

I am not trying to spark a huge debate. I don't like ugly political blog fighting and I try to avoid it. But we're finally at the end of this especially miserable campaign period, so now I'll say something. We have a terrible governor and everyone knows it. And today he will be re-elected. Kinky stands not a chance and I regret my initial support of him because he will put the nail in the Democrat's coffin. We are dooming ourselves. More predictions: Chet Edwards (Democrat-ish) will defeat Van Taylor but I don't really feel that much better about it. And on the upside, Tom Delay is gone, and no way can Shelly Sekula-Gibbs pull off a write-in win (this might be a situation in which she regrets the hyphen). Nick Lampson will have sweet revenge after losing his job to Tom Delay's butchery of congressional districts.

For those who use the Google homepage

May I suggest the "How-to of the Day" by WikiHow? So far it is my favorite module, and it makes me smile every day.

in which the semi-anonymous academic blogger ponders a question of ethics

I’ve asked my technical writing students to discuss ethics issues this semester, including issues of blogging in the workplace, and I thought that I might take a stab at a question that has been on my mind.

Is it ethical to discuss students on blogs?

I have written posts about my students and have read many posts about others’ students, with varying degrees of specificity. But is this okay? There are so many variables to this question—I will try to squeeze them into one blog post and hopefully people will read it even though it’s long. Let me start with what I am calling semi-anonymity and how that factors in.

I am not truly anonymous. Sarah is my real name (but don’t you know twenty other people named Sarah?). I do not post my location or institution, and if you Google me, you will not find this blog. If you came across this blog accidentally, however, I have posted enough information that someone who knows me well, or even someone who is currently taking my class, might figure out that this sounds awfully familiar. This seems like a stretch, but it has happened to me—I found a professor’s blog accidentally. I didn’t know it was him until I saw his photograph—I don’t post my picture on this blog. But I have given my URL to friends and to two former students, and it has gotten around through the grapevine that I’m a blogger, and a few professors have asked me about it (with mixed reactions—one person said, “My opinion of you has totally changed.”—vague comment, but I doubt it was good). I don’t really hide it. I imagine that many bloggers have similar circumstances.

The point is, while I am not readily Google-able, any discussion of my students could potentially be linked directly back to me, depending on who is reading it.

But I talk about my students in person with my coworkers all the time. This blog has been valuable to me as a way to discuss teaching issues with other teachers, and I find conversation among teachers in the halls or in our offices important ways to learn and improve. One might argue that it is not ethical to discuss students at all, but I think that we gain so much through these conversations that makes us better teachers. So is posting about students on a blog different from talking about them in person (assuming, of course, that names are never used)?

Okay, long enough for now. Any thoughts?

Teaching Carnival

Here is the Teaching Carnival.

I described feeling proud when I am linked on BlogHer. I also feel warm and fuzzy when I am in the Teaching Carnival. It's like I'm eating at the cool kids' table :) (Or what I imagine eating at the cool kids' table might feel like...)

this is my career. this is my work. really.

This is not what I meant to write about this week, but something came up. My feelings are hurt.

I talked on the phone with my father-in-law last night, who is really a nice, well-meaning man, but somehow he hurts my feelings every time I talk on the phone with him. Last night he asked me if I had a regular job yet since all I am doing is writing a dissertation. He thinks I should work an 8-5, I guess (which I do, really, but, you know, it's different somehow). This is the same man who told me before my daughter was born that he thought mothers should not work outside the home until their children are in school, which I took as a direct criticism of my mothering (because it was). When I was in my master's program he also told me that I should get another job in addition to school. This summer when I told him about the class I was teaching, he said, "I'm glad you're finally at the stage that you can teach." I've been teaching for five years. I told him last night that I am teaching now, and he seemed surprised again. Then he asked if it was all day long, 8-3. I guess he was thinking grade school. I told him that, no, I teach one class and work on my research and writing the rest of the time. He said he couldn't imagine why someone would take two or three years to write a book (that's how I have explained the dissertation to them). I told him that most people take that long and that I don't do only that. I also have my teaching, and I am trying to publish some articles before I graduate. (And raise one, and soon two kids, for crying out loud) Oh, he said, so you might be making some money before you graduate, then. I explained to him that you don't really make money in academic publishing, that it is a requirement of your job. Well, that doesn't make much sense, he said. His wife, my mother-in-law, is a teacher's aid and she makes the same amount of money that I make (which is pitiful and unfair to her and others who have that job but beside the point right now). If the legitimacy of my work is measured in income, which it seems to be to him, then why is my work less legitimate than hers? Or maybe it is not legitimate because it is school, not "real" work. They still have the idea that my career has not yet begun, not that I am currently working within my career. This is my career. And my job. And I do get paid. A little. Or maybe I'm just too old to be in school. I should be done by now.

Whatever it is, I feel like my work is completely devalued. When I went to the conference last weekend, it happened to be in the city where my brother-in-law lives, so we all planned a get-together after I presented my paper. Several of my in-laws came, and we had a nice weekend. No one asked me about my conference. Not one time. The only question they ever ask me is when I will be done. I usually let things like this roll off my back, but last night when he told me I should get a job, it hurt me badly.

Some more talk on plagiarism

Here's a nice group of blog links on plagiarism from Leslie Madsen Brooks's BlogHer blog. I haven't had time to look through them all, and I also have to think very hard about how much I will talk about my particular case. But I will have something to say on the topic later in the week.

I really just linked to it because it mentions me, and for some reason it makes me very proud when I am linked on BlogHer. Makes me feel like a "real" blogger. :)

And also because I think that Leslie's blogs are great and I make a point to look her up every time I surf over to BlogHer. You should all check her out.

What is the point of this assignment?

Last week my students completed an assignment that asked them to critique a peer review program we have used this semester. There are a lot of ideas about the purposes and benefits of the peer reviews, and there are benefits that I see that they don't necessarily pick up on. I think that this happens frequently--students complete assignments without really understanding, much less believing in, the purpose of the assignment. They don't know what they are supposed to be learning; they just go through the motions and do what they're told.

This has me thinking--I know that students can learn a lot without being told what they are "supposed to" learn and even without consciously realizing what they have gained along the way. But I wonder if there is a pedagogical benefit to spelling it out for them. What would happen if I gave them not just instructions for completing an assignment but also listed for them the learning objectives of the assignment. What I would like them, ideally, to get out of the whole thing. Why I think that this particular assignment is useful for our purposes.

As I plan my class for next semester I have been thinking critically about the assignments I want and why I think each one is useful. Why should I assign a research paper? Just because that's what we have always done? Or is there something specific that makes that the best assignment for accomplishing particular educational goals. As I'm thinking about these questions, I have begun to wonder if I should keep the reasons for my decisions to myself or if my students might benefit if I share some of my thought processes with them.

This means some work and writing on my part to prepare, and I realize that many students will not read what I hand them. But the good ones will. The ones who really want to become better writers will. And those are the ones I want to teach.

The Media

Can we please stop using the phrase “the media”? It has no meaning. The media is liberal. The media is conservative. The media is to blame for ____________.

“The media” has become a kind of monolithic force exercising power over us, its helpless victims. That is evident in the now standard singular form it takes in our speech (media used to be plural, remember? One medium, many media.).

We can’t begin to address any of the problems we perceive in the media until we break out of this tendency to conceptualize it as some great singular force with power of its own. Various pieces of information published via multiple forms of media are produced and consumed by individual people with public and private agendas and complex influences. It is about as useful to talk about “the media” as it is to tackle to problems of “today’s society.”

frustrated with students

While some of my students are doing well, several are doing what they perceive as the minimum to get by. I say it is their perception because I disgree--their work has not met the minimum requirements, and I have not given them credit. Here's the kicker--instead of just sucking it up and taking their grade because they know they are slacking, they are arguing with me. Ordinarily I would suspect a miscommunication on my part--perhaps I had not been clear in the assignment--but I have double checked my instructions and I have stated explicitly and repeatedly what is expected of them. So why are they insisting that they should get credit for doing nothing? They are mad at me, but I am being clear and consistent in my grading.

Once again, this is a downside to the online class. My week has been full of dealing with the people who do not want to get their work done but want to argue with me about why they should get credit for it. Meanwhile I don't get to really interact with the students who are doing well because the slackers have me tied up. And they are not very nice.

I also had a complaint recently from a student who insisted that the peer review apparatus we are using is unfair because the students in the class (as he generalizes his feelings to include his classmates) do not have a clear understanding of what constitutes a good technical document. He revealed the next day that he does not have a textbook. Perhaps the two problems are related?

Today being a teacher is not fun.

this is why I include my middle name on just about everything

Perhaps I will have something of substance to offer by the end of the week. For now, here is something fun I picked up from Anastasia.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 396 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

That's first and last name. Both very common. And for those who knew me before I succumbed to the archaic patriarchal ritual of changing my name when I married, here is how many of me there used to be.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 1,074 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Go ahead, Google me. It's probably not me.

and a teaching carnival

Here's Teaching Carnival #14.

grad carnival

The Carnival of GRADual Progress is up here.

Halloween update (and an RB funny)

In case any of you were holding your breath for the resolution of that conflict, we have a Halloween costume. My husband took RB to the store last night to get her a new toothbrush and she came back wearing a bright orange T-shirt with a Jack-o-lantern face. Instant costume. Zero effort.

BTW, the reason they had to get a new toothbrush was that I had somehow lost hers. I tore the house apart looking for it and after two days decided that I would just have to get a new one. She picked out her own Care Bears toothbrush. When she got home she took it out of the bag, showed it off proudly, and then went immediately to the entertainment center, opened the drawer, and there among the DVDs was her old toothbrush, exactly where she had left it (and where Mommy never thought to look). She held them both up and shouted, "Now I have all of them!" Sneaky.

positive birth experience CAN happen in a hospital

I just read Anne Drapkin Lyerly's "Shame, Gender, Birth" (Hypatia 21:3 (2006): 101-18), and it is the best piece on feminist childbirth I have ever read. I definitely think that feminists need to take on issues of childbirth and that frequently the medicalization of pregnancy and childbirth has caused anxiety, physical and emotional pain, and even trauma in some women. But I am not comfortable with most of the articles I've read proposing solutions to these problems because they all seem to want to reject technology and take birth totally out of the hospital. That's fine for some women, but not for everyone. I feel a sense of security in a hospital setting, and I would feel frightened and anxious giving birth in any other place. So clearly it is not a good solution for me. As Lyerly points out, the emotional life of each women needs to be taken into account to help make her birth experience positive. And she says that technology is not all bad--finally! The real key is the sensitive use of technology--sensitive to the desires and emotions of the birthing woman. And that all comes down to the support around her.

I had a highly medicated birth--pitocin to induce contractions because my water was leaking, then Stadol for the pain (I actually didn't like that and will choose not to use it again), and then (hooray!) the epidural. And episiotomy. Lots of medical intervention. And it was actually a pretty great experience because the people around me were sensitive to my needs and desires and cared for me in the way that I personally needed. My nurse was fantastic--very nurturing and reassuring. They allowed my parents to come into the labor room so that in the long waiting period, I was relaxed and happy with my family around me. Then I could choose who got to stay and who had to leave when I started pushing. I am also very appreciative of my anesthesiologist--she gave me an epidural that ensured that I felt no pain but that I did feel all of the contractions and even the baby moving down and out. At all times I felt like I had control of the situation and that my caregivers respected me. And because the epidural was applied with what I consider a great deal of sensitivity, I never felt a distance from the experience of birth that might come with total numbness. I always knew what was going on. I strongly believe that this is the key to a positive birth experience--not more or less technology, not in or out of hospital, but caregivers who earnestly listen to the birthing woman and try to provide the care that makes her comfortable, secure, and happy.

A link for you

This is a couple of weeks old, but very good. Everyone should read it:
Leslie Madsen Brooks, "Disciplining the Breast, Disciplining the Woman: A Meditation in Six Parts"

I don't want to do Halloween

I'm so unmotivated in general right now, and that extends to Halloween. I'd really like it to just pass by unnoticed, and RB is young enough that I could get away with that. But my husband was appalled by that suggestion, so I guess we're doing Halloween. So now I need a low-effort, low-cost costume for a small person.

How about a T-shirt that says, "I'm a feminist. We look like everybody else."

blogs in composition class

After pondering blogs vs. message boards, I have begun to think of things differently. Originally I was thinking of which medium would be better for student responses and engaging with other students, but I'm thinking that a blogs aren't really that useful for that purpose. When students are required to read and respond to a other students' posts, the responses are typically superficial and don't accomplish what I wish they would.

So what do I want out of a blog? Here are a couple of old posts on audience and blogging that I wrote when I first started this blog. I was excited about my developing sense of audience and how that shaped what my blog became. I want my students to experience that, and I also think that frequent "low stakes" writing is really useful to me and to my students to help us feel like writing is a habit and even fun and not a scary, anxiety-inducing reach for perfection that we cannot achieve--I think that most students feel this anxiety to some degree, and for many it is paralyzing. This is the value I see in a blog--a vehicle by which to work out ideas through writing (or as the dreaded freshman comp books call it, "prewriting"), to write habitually, to gain a new understanding of audience. And that end cannot be reached through forced interaction.

I had a great talk recently with a fellow teacher who is using blogs in a way that I think is really useful. She is teaching an Advanced Composition class and giving blog assignments that are not direct responses to readings but rather related questions that can be taken out of the context of this class and might be of interest to a blog reader who is not in the class. An example of one of her questions is, "What are you doing here?" Here, meaning online, on the web, in the electronic world of communication. So students can answer this question is many different ways and readers can stumble onto the blogs and read interesting posts that are not limited to a specific reading or specific course. The students have an opportunity, while meeting certain criteria, to create blogs that are interesting to them and might interest others--in other words, real blogs and that do more than just go through the motions. She has also asked them to link to other blogs in a couple of posts, which has started getting them some response because, as we know, any diligent blogger knows about every link.

And students are not required to read or respond to the blogs of other students. Which leaves a place for message boards, although I'm not convinced they work so well. We'll get to that in another installment.

While this will not work for all classes in all subjects, I think this is a great way to use blogs in a composition class, and I'm going to do this next semester.

I feel wretched

Okay, so I did ask for some morning sickness early on to ease my fears. I got plenty. And now I should be done. And I'm still vomiting. Not fun.

I have a pile of work to do right now, and it is so hard to get work done when I feel so so bad. This is the hard part about being pregnant in graduate school--that first few months when you're so sick and so sleepy and people want you to read books and write papers and teach people things.

I have slacked off a bit in the beginning of the semester, just getting by, really, which means that I now have to be seriously on top of things for the next two months. I have a conference at the end of the month--long paper must be converted to short paper--and I have an essay due December 1 for a collection--and I keep having fears that my paper is going to be booted out in the end. I don't know why I think that--maybe because I haven't written a paper yet! And I am writing a paper for my politics of motherhood class, which should contribute significantly to my dissertation, so I'm just going to count that paper as working on my dissertation, thank you very much. And I'm applying for a fellowship, so that's a lot of work, too. My plate is full.

thoughts on the blog and a note to readers

I've been thinking a lot about blogging and its personal, professional, and pedagogical potential. This blog has a tendency toward the personal (obviously) but is not exactly a confessional (though, of course, it gets that way, too). I conceive of it as having a particular subject matter (widely defined) and do not stray much from it. I write about teaching, academic work, academic culture, and parenting. So there's a lot in my life that's not up here ever.

Lately a few people I know IRL have "confessed" that they read my blog. I just want to say that if you know me and read this, it's okay, I don't think it's wierd, I don't think it's prying. After all, I publish this stuff. And, really, it makes me happy when someone says they read my blog. And even happier when I get comments. I don't think of this as a personal journal. I think of it as communicating. So I want readers. Readers make me happy :)

My husband watched me commenting on other blogs recently and said "You're such a blogger." I'm not sure what connotations were attached to that, but it made me smile.

Googlers

I just checked the tracker and found a plethora of interesting Google searches that led to me. Here are my favorites:

o'connor "violent bear" satan
I am not smart enough to get a ph d
being a pregnant PhD student
happy and joyful reaction to pregnancy
no one wants to talk about miscarriage
funny female characters
The Little Mermaid - Female Competition
hobbies to do when bored or hungry

I need to check that thing more often. Those were just from the past two days!

what I like about Turnitin.com

I'm not going to weigh in on the controversy over intellectual property. But I will say that I have used Turnitin for several semesters and I like it, and not really for plagiarism detection. Here's how I use it.

Plagiarism deterrent: I think that Turnitin works better as a plagiarism deterrent than a detector. There are a lot of ways to cheat and most of them cannot be detected by Turnitin. (But I'm not going to tell you what they are, you mischievous Googler. You'll have to figure out how to cheat for yourself!) But I do think that students are deterred from participating in the very easy cut-and-paste kind of cheating that Turnitin can detect because they are pretty sure that they'll get caught. So that's not bad.

Teaching proper attribution: I think that a lot of the problems with student writing is not that they want to cheat but that they don't know how to use sources properly, especially electronic sources that can be cut and pasted so easily. I think that some students really don't get that it's cheating. (I know, that's a lot of benefit of the doubt there, but I tend to extend that benefit until I see evidence that it is undeserved. I like to think that people are trying to do good.) So allowing student to see their reports on Turnitin points them to poor paraphrasing and insufficient attribution, so they can then revise and resubmit. Great teaching moment. (Of course, some argue that it actually teaches them how to be better cheaters.)

Gradebook: It has a nice gradebook function that allows students to check their grades on their own and keeps a running tally so I don't have to do complicated math that I don't understand. Honestly, I don't know what grade a student is getting half-way through the semester. I can just do the formulas at the end. Plus, it annoys me when they ask. It also keeps attendence. But if you're using it, you should download a backup frequently.

Peer Review: The peer review function is pretty good. It can be anonymous or not, and the instructor has the option of choosing from a library of questions or of writing her own questions. You can set a word count requirement for responses. You can require a combination of short and long responses and numerical ratings. Lots of options. And students can leave marks one the paper to point out specific areas for comment or correction. Good stuff, overall.

Grademarking: Nice. I expected not to like it, but in the end was quite pleased. I wrote about it here.

Electronic paper submission: One simple aspect of it is the easy and secure method of electronic paper submission. Email can be so iffy. Inbox is flooded with trash, messages can get deleted or bounced, or you can just miss one altogether because students have not mastered the skill of the subject heading. This is a nice, central place to collect papers, and you can easily download them ALL in one step onto your hard drive for a backup instead of one paper at a time in email.

I've been thinking about all the different technologies I've used and am using now in class, and I'm going to write a series of posts about how I've used them in the past and how they might be useful in the future.

teaching carnival

Here's Teaching Carnival 13.

Note to Oxymoron: there's a lot of talk about Turnitin.

a post with a much less important point

I have a new pet peeve. Where did the word "yay" come from? I thought it was spelled "yea," but I appear to be the only one spelling it that way anymore. Now everyone spells "yay." Maybe to prevent confusing it with the word "yeah"? I suppose I should go with the flow and start using "yay." But I just want to go on record as making this move reluctantly.

the g-word

A few months ago, I started to realize that my daughter is verbally advanced far beyond many children her age. She has a large vocabulary, constructs complex sentence structures, and articulates emotions. I was a bit startled when all of this came together right before her second birthday, partly because I had not really been comparing her to other children her age until then. And I was frustrated because talking about it with other people was difficult.

Of course, I am pleased to see her doing so well, but I was also worried because I wasn't sure what my responsibility should be at that point. How do I respond to this? Does this mean she is gifted? If so, how do I nurture that? When I posted on the blog about it, I used the word gifted. Little did I know how loaded that word is!

I began a web search and started browsing some books on advanced toddlers, and what I found made me very uncomfortable. So much of the information I got began with talk of testing children to see if they are really gifted or just very bright. I am sure that there is a purpose to this distinction and a purpose to academic testing of toddlers, but I can't see what it is. Even the suggestion of it shocked me. I found tons of teaching materials for very young children and information about schools with special curricula, but it all smacked of pressure and pushing and competition, which I think has no place in the life of a two-year-old.

I have worked with RB at home on some academic skills--learning ABCs, numbers, shapes, colors, etc. But in her first two years, I did not rely on books or websites to tell me what to teach her. I watched her. Early on I tried to talk to her about colors, and she clearly had no interest, so I assumed she was too young and dropped it. Later I brought it up again and she was enthusiastic about it, so I thought she must be ready. That's how everything went. If she paid attention to it and enjoyed it, we did it. If not, I just took for granted that it was too soon and left it alone. And it has all been in the context of fun and games and play. RB goes to preschool with a curriculum and lesson plans and all that, but the way it actually happens is more like play time with a theme. One week, it's family members. One week it's food. One week it's the color red. This kind of play-learning, I believe (and I am not an expert on child development, of course), is the only kind appropriate for young children, and it also allows children of many developmental stages to be in the same class, doing activities together, learning at the individual pace of each child.

So the big question I had over the summer was do I teach her to read? I have decided that, no, I will not impose a strutured approach to teaching reading before she goes to kindergarten (but I am not criticizing those who do--this is a very personal choice). She is interested in reading and she loves books, and I am just going to keep reading to her, reading my own books in front of her, singing songs and playing games, and she will show me what she wants to learn. A good friend of mine has a son who is four and reads quite well without a formal curriculum of phonics exercises. He just picked it up by playing games and reading with his mom. Maybe RB will do that. Maybe she will learn to read in kindergarten. And that's totally okay! I learned to read in kindergarten, and I was six years old when I started. And I'm getting a Ph.D. in literature. Clearly, my reading life has gone well.

I think that too many people look at childhood as a race to be the first and the best, and that puts stress and pressure on parents and children alike. It also creates barriers to parents sharing the joyful (and painful) experiences of raising children because of the anxiety of competition among them. I have decided not to worry about that anymore. I will tell my cute kid stories, I will even brag sometimes, and I will happily listen to other parents brag about all of their cute kid stories. And I will not use the word "gifted" anymore. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

the craziest mixed metaphor I have ever read

I'm reading Elizabeth M. Armstrong's Concieving Risk, Bearing Responsibility, and I just read the craziest mixed metaphor ever. Armstrong quotes extensively from interviews with physicians, and one describes the way that pregnancy "used to be" thought of, in contrast to a focus on risk avoidance now:

"I think pregnancy used to be considered, you know, like a parasitic growth. I don't mean that people really thought of it that way, but their perception was, 'This is something on autopilot. And I am just holding onto it and then I am going to return it to the library.'"

So is the fetus a parasite or an airplane or a library book? Spectacular.

Update on how I feel about pregnancy

Before I was pregnant--or maybe when I was already pregnant and didn't know it--hard to tell--I posted that I had lost the sense of confidence that I wanted to feel with a second pregnancy. Yesterday, chatting with a woman who is pregnant for the first time, I found myself describing precisely that feeling--I am not afraid in the same way that I was during my first pregnancy. I am not gaining all knowledge from books (really dreadful, frightening books!) but rather relying on my experience and faith. I am not obsessive. I am happier and less tense than I was during my first pregnancy.

A few months ago I predicted that this feeling would not come because my miscarriage had scared me back to the obsessive first-pregnancy craziness. I was also disturbed by my own attitude toward this pregnancy--considering it a pregnancy, a medical condition, not a baby. I didn't like feeling that way. I didn't like my almost indifferent reaction to the positive pregnancy test. That feeling, I think, was a result of being pregnant again so quickly after a miscarriage. And it has passed.

I am now really quite happy about my baby and I look frequently at my ultrasound pictures, which are posted on the fridge and not hidden in a drawer. And I am not obsessive or afraid. Everything is pretty good. But I don't think that means that I have "gotten over" the miscarriage--that I am no longer affected by it.

In the post linked above, I stated that I will always be aware that I have had more pregnancies than children. This is not my second pregnancy, but my third. But I think that the understanding I gained through the experience of loss has freed me to relax and take things as they come right now. It is all about that sense of control that I felt so strongly and lost so suddenly when I lost the baby. There was nothing I did and nothing I could do to change it. So I don't have the sense now that I can control what is happening in my body or to my baby. I can make healthy and responsible choices, of course, but I do not have to drive myself crazy over every minute detail of my life. Because it really doesn't matter. It's not in my hands. And, finally, I'm okay with that.

(Well, look at me being all stable and healthy--so uncharacteristic.)

online class getting better

Haven't blogged in a week--and I do have so much to say! But I had a sick little girl and then houseguests and today didn't go as planned, either, so blog is on the back burner.

But I have time for a quick update on my online technical writing class. I feel like I put so much time and energy into the first few weeks and got a ton of frustration in return, but now I am seeing the pay-off of the extra time spent in the beginning. My students seem to be on track at a rate actually better than my traditional classroom--first major assignment, all but one had it in on time. They are generally on top of things and talking to each other and talking to me, and I'm starting to feel pretty good about it all. I think all of us just needed soem time to ease into this new experience.

I think that my spring class is going to be a hybrid traditional classroom and online. Ideally, a computer lab classroom and online, meeting in person maybe once a week, at least in the beginning of the semester. I like the sound of that, and now someone is working with me to design the syllabus, and we'll run similar classes. This semester I have been working in a small group of first-time instructors, and that has been a great support network. I like the idea of having another person trying out this new class with me in the spring, too. The course, BTW, is Advanced Composition with the theme "Identity and Community." More to come on that.

blogs or message boards?

If the goal is to get students writing thoughtful responses to course materials and questions and for them to regularly read and comment on other students' posts so that they are engaging each other, is the best tool blogs or message boards?

Blogs might encourage longer posts--not that longer=better but a message board might seem like a place for a quick thought rather than a more developed response. But blogs stand separately, so the discussion might stay on one student's blog and not cross over as much as it would on a message board, where the various threads are all in one place for students to see all at once and click through easily.

It also seems overwhelming to require all students in a class to read all of their classmates' blogs, probably reducing the number of comments each blog would get. This semester, my students are only required to read the blogs of their group members, and the blogs are tied directly to a collaborative project. A message board might facilitate easier exchange among a larger number of class members.

Several years ago as a student I was in a large section of a course (maybe 75 students) with a message board, and it was fairly easy to keep up with the discussion, even with that many course members. But I'm sure that many students sort of fell by the wayside. It also meant that fewer people actually initiated discussions, but more people responded to the posts of other students. Depending on the goal of the exercise, it might be okay if only a handful of students are the initiators as long as the rest are thoughtfully discussing the ideas.

I am considering this question broadly for use with various kinds of classes but also with an online section of Advanced Composition in mind.

Hmmm.

Hobbies

So this is not the super important post that I promised last week--I may not get to it because RB is ill and houseguests are coming later in the week. But I was reading Trillwing's post about her plans for the year and it made me want to write about hobbies (notice that her year is 2006-07--I find it impossible to concieve of a year any other way but the academic calendar--January through December means nothing to me--aren't we all like that?).

I wrote in response to Trillwing that I consider hobbies to be like a mental power nap. I am a worrier and I am prone to extreme anxiety, the kind that makes me physically ill, and relaxation exercises are of no use to me. I have tried yoga and meditation, but it is very difficult for me. But when I am working on a hobby, it requires just enough concentration that I can't think about my other responsibilities for that time period, and when I am done I can return to my work refreshed. I don't have tons of free time, but I have found that I work more efficiently and with more focus after I have spent some time working on a creative project unrelated to my academic work. In the end, I think I recoup that time simply by working better.

I think many people see hobbies as a luxury--something to do when you're bored. For me, it's therapuetic and almost necessary to my well-being. I advise more very busy people to try it. I sew, crochet, and embroider, and for my birthday, my mom gave me a great kit for handmade greeting cards. I also play the mandolin, but I have fallen out of practice on this one. I tend to let go of a hobby when I have learned how to do it. I think that my hobbies are all about engaging in a learning process, and that is very satisfying to me. But I can return to the mandolin now because I have forgotten how to play and the learning process will start all over!

P.S. My regular readers might notice that I tend to use the words "very" and "really" a lot (I also use "a lot" a lot). RB has recently picked up this speech habit from me--"Mommy, I'm really really really hungry." "Thank you very very very much." "RB is really really really sleepy." It's really very funny. :)

Teaching carnival

Here's the latest.

online class ambivalence and coming attractions

I am putting out fires with my students today because they are doing something that is particularly confusing, technology-wise, and at the end of the day I am going to go in and repair the inevitable errors so that the technology thing will work properly. But, you know, they're not asking a bunch of questions about the wierd confusing thing they have to do today. They're asking questions about other things that are clearly answered in big announcements on the course homepage that they are apparently just not reading. Not everyone, of course. Most students are doing their assignments properly and asking reasonable questions. But the nature of the online class makes it more time-consuming to handle the problems that arise from students' neglecting to read instructions carefully because I have to talk to each student individually and answer these questions. I would think that the announcements portion of the course website would be the equivalent of standing in front of class and saying words to them, but that is only so if they actually read the words in big colorful text right in the center of the screen. I don't like feeling this kind of adversarial relationship with my students. I don't usually feel this way. But the online class can reduce the interaction I have with the students who are enthusiastic and pleasant and fun while increasing the interactions with students who are less committed and more likely to be rude and accusatory. I have begun to seek out students who are doing a good job and initiating personal communication with them. And the exchange is always satisfying. I think that I will make an effort over the next week to send some kind of personal message to any student with whom I have not yet communicated. That is reasonable with my class size. And by now I have communicated individually with most of them. I love to teach and I want to love to teach this class. I am learning how to make this thing into something I can love.

In other news, I'm at one of those points where I have a ton of potential blog posts cooking and have to decide which ones to get to first. I have a lot to say about academic pressure on kids that is relevant to my child now, my child's future education, and even my current students and my relationship with them. That's going to take several posts, but ideas are synthesizing in useful ways, I think. I also have had a personal epiphany that relates to the stalled progress of my dissertation and might contribute to its revival.

Fun with Audioblogger

student as employer

One of my fellow online instructors recieved a rude email from one of her students who was generally displeased with the class. In her reply, as a technical writing teaching tool, she reminded him of the importance of tone in professional communication, asking as an example, if he would ever write such a message to his boss. He replied that, no, he would never use that tone with his boss but that the instructor was paid to instruct him. Wow.

The notion of the student as consumer is not new to me--I've heard tons of conversations along the lines of, "If I'm paying to be here, why should my attendance be required?" But this is the first time that I have heard of a student so brashly informing a teacher that she is his employee. There is so much wrong with this concept of the student-teacher relationship that I really don't know how I would handle the situation.

Education is no doubt a financial investment, and there can be advantages, I think, to seeing it that way--one might be motivated to do well in order to get the most for one's money. People tend to value what they pay for. But the notion of student as employer of the instructor cannot be good.

I have written and deleted three different paragraphs in this spot. There is much to say but so far nothing I have said has satisfied me. For now, I suppose I am just sending out this problem and my distress over it into the blogosphere.

Update on the meeting

The meeting with my advisor went well. I am so lucky to have such a supportive mentor. He always reminds me to have reasonable expectations of myself, and he encouraged me to take it easy while dealing with the early pregnancy symptoms (how does he know??? it is impossible to be discreet in my department). We talked about the other work that I have been doing, acknowledging that I have, indeed, been working...just not so much on the diss. And he said I'm not allowed to send out proposals for anything anymore. Good advice. I should probably just ignore all CFPs.

As for the diss, I have a long way to go to even get a good start. I have direction. I know what I need to do, but this project is still in a very early stage. I am still not even sure what it is really about yet. I am going to rework the proposal--I think that it is necessary for me to have a really good one before I proceed, but I am working on some separate projects right now that will contribute directly to chapters later. I forsee the proposal being a work in progress for a long time, maybe stretching into the spring, but when I am done and feel good about it I will have set up the chapters to fall into place nicely. I know that this is not the way that everyone works, but I think that it is the best way for me. I am not feeling so discouraged today. And I may have a blog treat for you later.

Newsweek: The New First Grade

This is frightening.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14638573/site/newsweek/

and the trials of the online class begin

I really do not like to complain about my students, and I am frequently annoyed by others who do. I believe that many problems teachers have with students can be addressed by considering the teacher's approach to the situation and the way the teacher/student relationship has been established (I am speaking very broadly, I know). But I am not immune to being frustrated with my students, and a specific problem I frequently have is exacerbated by the nature of an online course.

People just don't read instructions. They glance over them, perhaps, but rarely do people set out to read and follow instructions carefully until they have made mistakes that require them to go back and look again. In a traditional classroom, students have opportunities to ask questions and express confusion in person, and a lot of problems are handled in that way before the assignments are due (while wasting valuable class time going over what they would have already known had they simply read the instructions!). The online class depends ENTIRELY on the student's ability to read and follow instructions. These instructions are delivered in a number of ways, with written documents and podcasts and samples and all kinds of things. But, alas, many students have failed to submit work this week because they just didn't know that it was due.

I must add here that I have spent A LOT of time online. I have frequently posted prominent announcements of impending due dates and reminded them which documents they need to have read and reviewed. I have sent messages to individual students when I see that they have fallen behind (already!!!). But I just spent a good ten minutes answering questions from one student, all of which are answered quite clearly on the documents that the announcements tell her in bold letters to read. And several students have told me that they just didn't realize that materials were due this week, when a really nice, very clear chart gives them dates and step-by-step instructions for completing assignments.

In a traditional classroom, I repeat my office hours and email address at every single class meeting and remind students that I am available to them. I was concerned from the beginning of the online class that my students would feel alone, and I have worked to make my presense seen and felt online. But I have students who have not asked questions until things go wrong--or until I contact them to let them know that things are going wrong--and they constantly apologize for bothering me. I am terribly frustrated right now.

I have some ideas about why this happens, but I will leave them for another day. Now I must turn away from this class that has taken up most of my day and prepare for something else. Tomorrow I have lunch with my advisor.

I will look like a slacker

Nothing gets a blog post going like posting that I will not be posting. That consistently revives my blog.

Next week I have to meet with my director. I have to. I have not met with him since June 20--my prelim exams. I have nothing to offer at this meeting. Seriously nothing. I don't know what is going to happen. I think that I will for the first time look like a slacker to him. I am decidedly not a slacker, and he has complimented my efficiency in the past. But this time I have slacked. I have accomplished many other important non-dissertation-related academic things in the past two months, but I have not done anything on the diss. Except read, but that doesn't count. Really it doesn't count. A mentor once said to me that research is endlessly seductive. So true. Reading is easy and fun and obviously necessary to the process, but if we're being truly honest, we are not actually accomplishing anything--not "producing knowledge" to borrow a phrase I heard from a professor last week--unless we are writing. That is at least true for me--I do not begin to truly synthesize ideas until I write.

I am not being lazy. I am being scared. A paralyzing anxiety keeps me from this project.

hanging in

Things are rough in the Mommy, Ph.D. household. My husband's crazy job has him working 70 hours a week lately, and it looks like that's going to keep up for a couple more weeks. And I'm sick and tired. Pregnancy sick and tired, but sick and tired just the same (this one is definitely sticking around and letting me know it). And school's in. And there's the whole dissertation thing (yeah, right, like that is happening). And RB insists on being two years old. So blogging will continue to be light for a while. I promise I'm still here.

P.S. I think it's a girl. But I don't put much stock in that particular intuition. I just knew that RB was going to be a boy. She is not.

Teaching carnival

Everyone go read the Teaching Carnival!

student participation in online courses

Oxymoron over at The Rhetorical Situation is actually teaching the same class I am teaching this semester. He has a good post about students' activity in online courses, and a discussion has begun in the comments. I won't copy my remarks here--check out the post. And for those interested in online courses, be on the lookout for further interaction between our blogs. I have admired Oxymoron's teaching for as long as I've known him, and I hope to see more from him on this topic.

politics of motherhood reading list

I am taking a Women's Studies course this semester to complete my certificate requirements. I purchased my books today, and I'm really excited about reading them. I want to share the list with you. I especially appreciate the diverse disciplines represented in the list--business, politics, science, sociology. It should make for interesting blog fodder.

Elizabeth A. Armstrong, Conceiving Risk, Bearing Responsibility: Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and the Diagnosis of Moral Disorder.
Alison Clarke-Stewart and Virginia D. Allhusen (eds.), What We Know About Childcare.
Ann Crittendon, The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World Is Sill the Least Valued.
Dorothy Roberts, Killing the Black Body: Race, Reproduction, and the Meaning of Liberty.
Deborah Spar, The Baby Business: How Money, Science, and Politics Drive the Commerce of Conception. (This is the one I'm most anxious to read and, fortunately, the first on the schedule)
Joan Williams, Unbending Gender: Why Family and Work Conflict and What to Do about It.

A different sort of first day of school

Tomorrow is the first day of school, and I am teaching technical writing online. I have the jitters I always get before the first day of school even though I will not be speaking in front of anyone. Part of it is because I am excited, but I am also anticipating a lot of "freaking out" emails from students. Here's why.

I did not design this course. Rather it is a "canned" course that provides consistent content across many sections with different instructors and also serves to train new instructors in the course management program (we're using Moodle). The course is designed to train the students to use the course tools as they complete steps in the first assignment. I think that is an excellent way of going about it--much more efficient and effective than trying to show them the nuts and bolts in the first week and expecting them to remember. The problem I foresee is that students are going to want the nuts and bolts on the first day. And I don't actually have all of that down, myself. I am going through a similar training in the process of teaching that will show me how things work shortly before I need them. So I expect a barage of questions, some of which I will not be able to answer. I expect high anxiety for the first few weeks.

I recorded a podcast last week with all the stuff I normally say on the first day of class and a little bit of here's this and here's that. That was fun, and I like that my students will hear my voice and see my photo. I don't want them to feel all alone. I really like the personal contact I have with students in a traditional classroom, and that will be quite different this semester. I won't see as many of them in my office, I'm sure. But as one who enjoys the blogging community, I am confident that personalities will make it through the electronic interface and personal connections will be made. I am excited to see how.

for a conversation on professional boundaries

I direct you to B*'s post here. I weighed in myself, and I am of the opinion that the situation is not that big a deal and a big deal shouldn't be made of it. But it does present the opportunity for discussing issues that are important and would be interesting to many of my readers who are not regular readers of B*.

quick update

The ultrasound went well and my pregnancy symptoms are increasing rapidly. Looks like I'm having a baby!

good baby vibes

I am feeling good baby vibes today. I am getting really sick in the mornings now, so good sign. I am so pleased to hear that my blogger friend Anastasia is pregnant (I assume your secret is as safe on my blog as it is on yours!). That has had me smiling since I read it. And I got a call from my sister-in-law that she is having a girl (really, there are a disproportionate number of pregnant women in my life right now--it's a bit crazy). I knew her ultrasound would be this week, and my ultrasound to find out the sex of the baby that I lost would have been this week, too. But tomorrow I have an ultrasound for the new baby, and my mom is coming today, so I am not feeling as fearful as I anticipated. I really have a strong feeling that this one is going to stick around. It took a while, but when I started feeling hopeful about this pregnancy, I embraced that feeling. After all, being miserable and afraid and expecting the worst will not make it easier to take if something bad does happen. Today I'm downright happy. For the first time since I found out I was pregnant. Feels good.

getting ready for work

I don't know if I'm ready to work from home. I have done nothing on my diss since my exams in June, and today I announced to my husband that I was going to actually work on it today. So far I have vacuumed and Febrezed the carpets and couches and done some other cleaning and straightening. I excuse it by saying that because we moved and things are not all in place yet. The fact is that home carries with it a lot of distractions (but the office does, too), and I don't know how things are going to go this fall. It is going to take major adjustments in my work habits. Last year was a bit shocking because I was out of coursework for the first time since, well, five years old, and I also was not teaching, which I had done for four years prior. Teaching was fantastic this summer, but the fall is a whole different animal: online class. And working on the dissertation, something I have also never done before. I feels like a huge unconquerable monster looming over me. And that is not conducive to self-motivated work. I am taking a class two days a week, and I now think that it will actually help keep me on track with two guaranteed days a week on campus and some required work that will force me to schedule time for the diss.

I have also considered going to the public library to work, which I am still doubtful about because when I took Rebekah, the lady who was painting the Sesame Street characters on the wall in the children's section glared at me when Rebekah was rocking in the rocking chair that is in the children's section and I guess being too noisy asking for me to read books to her. Maybe I don't understand children's library ettiquette, but I assumed that the short tables and chairs and picture books and the section itself separated from those of interest to adult library patrons indicated an invitation for reading aloud and, horrors, rocking in the rocking chair. When doing my own work, I would not take her, but I am holding a grudge. Sad, because she has asked to go back, except for some reason she thinks that the library is Walmart. She asks to go to Walmart to look at books.

I am going to start following the guidelines from Bolker's Write Your Dissertation in Fifteen Minutes a Day today--I have been finding reasons to put it off for a long time, but I can't afford to say I'll do it tomorrow. My mom is coming next week, but I have to stick to the plan, whether that becomes working all except those couple of days or actually working on those days, too. Either way, I'm starting now. After lunch.

The demon barber of Fleet Street

Awesome!

I have high speed internet, la la la la la la

I know you can't see me, but I am doing a happy dance.

teaching carnival

Teaching Carnival is coming Sept. 1.

teacher/counselor

The past summer session was a record breaker for students' personal crises. Frequently students come to me to talk about the problems in their lives. It usually begins in the context of explaining why they cannot complete their work on time or why they did so poorly on their last assignment, but the office quickly turns into a confessional (to use an analogy appropriate to the O'Connor class). I used to think that this was a freshman thing and that students would not feel compelled to reveal everything about themselves to me once they became more comfortable with college life and being away from their parents. Not so much.

I am not complaining about this--it usually doesn't bother me (in fact, it only bothers me when I get unecessarily long emails about strings of insignificant events that basically amount to disorganization and procrastination on the part of the student and waste five minutes of my life). I take my responsibility to my students very seriously, but it is hard to know what my responsibility is. What is the appropriate response? What is too close? How involved should I be when they come to me for. . .well, what is it that they are coming to me for? Reassurance? Help? A sympathy grade? Or just an ear?

I know that some people will advocate a completely professional relationship, which to me means that there is no room for students' problems and there is certainly no place for revealing information about my personal life. But I do not feel comfortable with such boundaries. The way that I typically handle these issues is to never ask questions but always be willing to hear--something tells me that if they feel like it is important for them to tell me, it's important for me to let them tell me. And most of the time that's all that happens. They tell me their life stories, and I hear them, and then I tell them that they should do this, this, and this to complete their requirements for class. Sometimes I can relate to students' concerns because I have gone through something similar, and I am tempted to talk to them about my experiences, but the only personal experiences I ever talk about are common college-related issues like sleep deprivation and time management. That's the only kind of advice I feel comfortable giving, even though I often want very much to offer more. This semester I referred a student to the crisis intervention services on campus. I don't know if she called.

I feel a great deal for my students and have a tendency to carry their problems home with me. I will often bend over backwards to help them get through the semester despite their major or minor personal catastrophes--but I have also found that when I express to them how willing I am to work with them and help them, their efforts in class increase, as if my concern for them gives them a sense of personal responsibility to me. I know that I always wanted to perform well for teachers who I knew cared about me. Rarely have I felt like a student has taken advantage of me.

With this post, I am trying to hash things out for myself, but I also hope to get some response from other teachers on this topic. I would love it if some of my readers would weigh in in comments but even better if some might offer their own posts on the subject.